Paul Aufiero, a 35-year-old parking-garage attendant from Staten Island, is the self-described "world's biggest New York Giants fan". One night, Paul and his best friend Sal spot Giants star linebacker Quantrell Bishop at a gas station and decide to follow him. At a strip club Paul cautiously decides to approach him but the chance encounter brings Paul's world crashing down around him.

When screenwriter Cal Neros fritters away a million-dollar advance on a script and blows his deadline, the studio boss gives him one week to write the sickest movie ever committed to the screen.